Will it be a boy or a girl?…

February 2, 2010


Raphael and the two oldest.

Today’s the big day.  My fifth month sonogram.  The big one during which we will hopefully find out the sex of the baby.  Yes, we’re crossing our fingers for a boy.  So are the girls.  At lunch yesterday, Raphael asked them if they wanted a boy or a girl.  They all said a boy.  If they get their wish, this is going to be one spoiled baby boy with three older sister. 

They’ve begun talking about my ever-expanding belly;  touching it and asking if the baby is okay.  They routinely pull up their shirts to show me where their baby is growing.  I don’t remember Olivia having so much interest in my previous two pregnancy’s.  Auriane’s future goal is to be a mommy and then a teacher, because, as she points out, “I can do both mommy.”

Saturday night I dreamt that I was pregnant with twins, on girl and one boy.  I already know there is only one.  The twins part came because we had our good friends over Saturday and they have 3 month old twin boys.  In my dream, sadly, I lost one of the baby’s, the boy and was left with another girl.  I say another in memory of the dream.  While we hope for a boy, we’ve both admitted that we don’t know what to do with one, we’re so used to girls.  Then next morning, after I told Raphael my dream, he said it was a sign that we are having a girl.  He believes strongly in signs. 

In France, a pregnant woman is entitled to three sonograms, one during each trimester.  In fact, the first is considered highly important and is necessary in the 12th and 13th week.  If you miss this window, they see no reason for you to have the first trimester sonogram.  The main importance of this sonogram is to check the size of the neck to determine whether there is a risk of Downs Syndrome.  In addition to the neck measurement, the doctor also asks at this check up if we’re interested in doing a blood test as a second level test for Downs Syndrome.  The blood test, like the neck size, is no guarantee that the fetus has the syndrome.  They are statistical tests.  According to a gynecologist friend of ours who specializes in infertility, the blood test results are so irregular that one day you could have results that place you in the high possibility the baby has Downs Syndrome and the next day fall below the range of possibility.  For Olivia, as a first time pregnant woman, I elected to have the test.  If fell into the highly likely percentile.  The next step was an amniocentisis to extract some amniotic fluid and do a DNA test.  This is the only test that accurately confirms or rules out Downs Syndrome. 

I remember the day we got the call that said we fell into the high risk percentile.  In our concern, Raphael immediately called his friend and was told not to worry.  We decided to go through with the amniocentesis anyway and thankfully, the results were negative.  With Auriane the blood test was in the low percentile and with Auriane the blood test results were once again in the high range but this time we elected not to have the amnio.  By this point, after giving much thought to what if, we knew we would never abort a baby no matter what the circumstances.  And abortion is ultimately the reason for this test.  If the baby is confirmed to have Downs Syndrome in the first trimester, the parents can choose to abort the fetus. 

This time, we elected not to even have the blood test.

Now we’re at the second trimester sonogram and I’m sure there’s a medical reason for it, but at the moment for me, it’s the “Boy or Girl” test.  So, a plutard….


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